Just wanna do what i can do...

OMG , this is the hardest feeling in my life that i would have lost someone that i love, i have always want to understand things from his point of view , so that i do not expect things from him ... which is my mistake and i should not expect more in this relationship, because my mum always have thought me this , that the guy must do everything for a girl, that is the ideal of a man that is from her perspective.

I don't really understand what he is trying to do with me, i just hope the time past and will see what happened. Day by day i will be thinking of him , miss him , and love him . I'm not sure whether he does, whenever he went out with his girlfriends i will get jealous and just addresses the feeling that i have .. It's complicated and my mood its not stable at all , no one can help me but myself. I'm trying ...and i have to be strong ... i have to be strong...

The thing i guess i have hurt him  by mistreating him, his my lover , all he does is just to love me not more. Lover just love each other. Definition of love is all the things that effect someone. My feelings it;s so sad right now that i can't describe. He said he still love me , i will just wait , whatever it is i will take it strongly... God just let me be strong in accepting all the truth and letting me know what is the right thing..

Now i just focus on the new chapter that i want to build like how i use to do :) and let time decide for us if we pass this stage , things will be better i know :)

I miss everything about you

Sometime i just don't understand the love works? When i just commit in the relationship things just mess up and people tend to leave me and go....It's been a hard time for me ... my mum and all... i just don't know what is right and wrong anymore.... I'm just so sad ....:( it's complicated....

it all start from this chair the nite before the wedding .... it's one of the best day of my life  and the happiest where we are so innocent ....the love just came in....and strike my heart :) ....And now miss everything about you, can't believe i still want you , after all we have been through and i miss everything about you ...the songs 'I never told you ' by Colie Cailat ... just make me miss you more ... so i wrote something for him instead ... to tell him how i really felt now....

My heart said: 

i really miss going out with you where you just sayang me , 

held my hand like you will never let go ,

the words you said to me which makes me smile

whenever i think about it ...:) 

you make me smile whenever i'm sad ....

the things you have done no one done that for me ..

.i know you lost you way now...

but deeply i know u miss it too ...

just sometimes you can't handle it ...

sometimes i felt it's unfair ,

but that's go no where ,

I'll just wait 

until you come back

people said i'm dumb 

but no one know me better than myself

when i see you now,

you still sayang me like you used too

when you not here with me 

you will be normal and be friend

you tried to distance and tried not to be intimate with me with your words anymore

now the things that make me smiles 

it's the love we have 

and the memories we have ...

the little hope i have ..it's not wrong..

people said it's stupid but ..it's the love i have 

and it's not wrong...

The way you look at me yesterday ,

it's like a silent message to me

telling me you miss me so much 

the love is there...

I love you , 

God knows that ...

you know that ..

Time is all that matter ...

please don't waste the love we have , just don't give up ....

how i wish that i can turn back in time to correct everything that i done, now i just pray and hope ...i know the next chapter it's gonna be better than this...