just want to release tension here.

After hearing Kelly Clarkson - Dark side I have this darkside of me that people don't know, only my close one who knows, knowing me people can see from the appearance I'm lovely , likable and friendly but to those who are close with me you know my real perangai :) hahaha even guy dump me because I'm like that. 

 People said my perangai like my mum , haha now i understand why i geram my mum so much because of her perangai, but unfortunately I'm the mirror of her. My love once can't stand me . Sometimes my parents always scold me , my perangai like this no one will tahan my attitude. hmm i guese they rite sometimes. 

When I was in secondary school, I'm lonely, hardly have any friends and always fight with others. Unlike my brother , so many people love him and make friends with him. Everytime whenever, either me and my brother b'day comes, my brother friends mostly will throw him b'day party. As for me I only have my love once and a few friends that are there :) During that time i did not appreciate that moments., i tend to find more more people to like me. Because I was too unhappy and unsatisfied with the things i have. I lost my closest friend. Since then, i never had a close friend. 

I remember those time when i have my closest friend i will share everything to her , call her everyday , and i love being with her:) She sayang me so much , at first before we became friend she was my enemy, cause of the influence of other, no one likes me that time. As time past we became best friends since form 2 and until secondary school ends. Those time every min and second we always spend time together ,people also thought we are lesbian, but who care she is my best friend and i love her. but eventhough we are best friend her parents don't really like me being her being friend until now i still don't know the reason why because she is my friend i respect her parents. Sometimes she have to lied for me whenever we go out together ..haha funny kan. ( now I'm the one who lie to go out ) just because her parents don't like me :( sad kan...but hmm now everything gone well, just now we are not so close anymore after she when to Australia and then we have a huge fight after than things changed. But in my heart she will always be my closest friend and i love her so much. 

However, I hated my secondary moments, there are too many things happened, things changed after I joined this competition DCT 07 , then i became a singing as i dream of being when i was young. Whenever i gotten it and my dream came true and now i'm someone :) things changed , it wasn't like i imagine. hmm nobody knows but me :(

Today we fought , his hurt by me. I hurt people, and somehow he kinda remind me that 'no one can tahan me' even my ex-bf dumped me and hurt me because of my perangai. Oh God , why i'm like this. I tried everything to make him happy , make him feel special and love but i failed. Now i don't know what to do but just shut up and being sad. Hmm people don't know the real me ?


Love
Me (ZL)